Chapter 2: fall down, sadness

On 2014-3-27, the mobile phone had already calmed down. I didn’t know whether to squat or stand. The Wind in spring was low and cold. On the balcony of the office, the spring color dyed, but I was lonely. I haven’t been so disheartened for a long time. I tried to stay awake, but I still fell to the bottom of the valley. The bottom of the valley has me and his shadow. His face is angry and sad, and I am at a loss. I can’t get close to him. It seemed that after a long time, he sent a message and said sorry. He also said this last night. At that time, the night was still very heavy, but there was a sound of breakfast shop opening under the window. He was suddenly agitated, then he hit the wall with a heavy blow. I stunned and hugged him tightly. Dream, from that moment on, came to an abrupt end. Asked about him, he said to me sideways, sorry, I had a nightmare. He never does this. He won’t be affected by nightmares. I know. He seldom said sorry to me in his memory. Even if we were unhappy, he would coax me with all kinds of nifty words, but only remove those three words: Sorry. Over time, I felt that the words of sorry were very heavy to me, just like a big stone pressing my foot. I had to take a lot of effort to remove it, which hurt me and felt wronged. And the most wronged thing, I don’t know what happened to him? I don’t know whether what happened will be related to our feelings? I am fragile and sensitive, trying to spell everything out, but my thoughts always get into the dead hole. He said go to work, go back and talk about it. We have been together for a long time. I don’t even know how deep his role in my life and even in my life is. Our noisy days, our happy days, our saving days, and the days when we face our family’s opposition together… we think we can walk together, one day, we can go to Qinghai Lake and ride a bicycle, and then we will leave the Clear Lake and swear for life. Once I heard a radio station. The woman in the story felt that the other party did not love him. She thought for a long time and decided to divorce him. The man went to work after hearing the news. When he came back, he said to her that he had been promoted. From that day on, men spent more and more time with her. He told him that he didn’t love her, but he didn’t want her to work too hard. He wouldn’t let her cook the dishes he liked, the clothes he likes don’t let her buy… love hasn’t gone bad from beginning to end, but women love to bind themselves. After the balance between the need and the need is broken, women don’t have to compromise on that. I really want to be such a woman now, trembling, but it turned out to be a happy surprise. I only wish he was temporarily confused about life, but I only wish he was frightened by ordinary people like me, and I only wish him that everything was well, but he lacked some conditions that had not yet arrived. I only wish he would not think too much today, so that the sunshine of the world would wipe away some haze in his mind. And I can’t maintain sadness all the time. The freest thing in life is that everything can get better in the next second. I hope this is all I finally guessed. I only wish I had done the right thing. When he hung up the phone decisively for an unprecedented time, I cried, then wiped away the tears and went back and forth to his news. He said sorry, I said, I just want to know what happened. I’m worried about you. Let’s talk about it at home, OK! I tried my best to let him know that I was by his side, just like the tolerance and hug he gave me without his face when I played a bad temper against him before. Since when, I can no longer Mock. How powerful you are… He said that he also needs to care. Can we make a scene next time and be able to play for my role? The photos I washed on the Internet a few days ago were just sent today. I looked at them one by one. It took me a long time. From the beginning, his hair grew long and he said it was elegant, from the days when we met in a strange city for the first time separated from the two places, and from the days when we walked together and started to explain constantly, it turned out that several years had passed. His signature-like smile in the photo and all kinds of exaggerated expressions I wore the gifts he gave were so clear. The cinema we went to together, the park we went to together, the railway station we went to together, and the Meibang store we visited together… those photos that we said before should not be taken, which made the people next to us look at so shameful, now it is spread in my hand, which makes me feel uncomfortable and happy. I want to say that these photos are all words of time. We really love them for a long time… wipe away tears, raise your head, another sunny day. The white butterfly was wrapped by sunshine, and the light wings danced in a wisp of clean light. At this time, she had forgotten why she was sad…

Zan (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) Phoenix Mountain Spring Tour

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