写给我的“肋骨“,我“的另一半”(散文)

《圣经》里记载:上帝照着自己的形象,用地上的尘土造出了一个男人,取名叫亚当。后来又觉得亚当一个人独居不好,要为他造一个配偶。于是上帝趁亚当熟睡时,从他身上取下一根肋骨,然后用这根肋骨造成了一个女人。《圣经》里的故事流传下来就有了 女人是男人的一根肋骨 之说。作家张贤亮的作品《男人的一半是女人》出版后,得到了读者的认可,于是就有了 男人的一半是女人 之说。至于 女人是男人的另一半 是怎么来的,我就不知道了。 我与我那 肋骨 ,我那 另一半 在一起生活二十多年了,我从没踉她说起过她就是我的 肋骨 。她是我的 另一半 ,也就是这几年才知道的,听得多看得多了嘛!我也从没叫过她 肋骨 或 另一半 ,太文皱皱太别扭了,还是称妻子,叫老婆来得亲切。 妻子就要满50岁了,这么多年来一直想为妻子写点什么,可因忙于教学,加上自己的懒惰迟迟没有动手。也可能是因为年轻,对自己的 另一半 与自已的人生的重要,对家庭,对子女的重要,对自己身体内的 肋骨 的重要体会不深吧,好像也觉得没什么可写似的。如今妻子将年过半白,鬓角也露出丝丝白发了,家庭因妻子的勤劳节俭也脱贫致富了,孩子也长大成人参加工作了,这才深深的体悟到,我的妻子 我生命中最重要的女人之一,对于我的一生,对于我的家庭扮演了多么重要的角色啊!的确是我的 另一半 ,的确是我体内重要的一根 肋骨 。动手吧,抢在老婆50岁生日之前,为我的 肋骨 ,为我的 另一半 献上一份别样的礼物。 妻子是我30多岁时遇上的一位姑娘。她出生于一个普普通通的平民人家,父亲是县城一家化工厂的技术员,母亲就在家操持家务。兄弟姐妹七、八个,她排行老二。家庭人口众多,生活自然过得比较艰苦,身为家中女孩的老大,从小便学会帮助父母料理家务。唸完高中后,为减轻家里父亲沉重的生活负担,为了弟妹们的前途,她主动放弃了高考的机会,挑起了生活重担。勤劳、善良、节俭、有主见的性格就在这样的生活中磨炼而成。 妻子虽是一小县城人,可长得还是蛮漂亮的。圆圆的脸蛋(我常开玩笑地叫她 西瓜脸 ),小小的嘴,比樱桃稍大点。皮肤特好,鲜嫩鲜嫩的白里透红,像成熟的苹果一样。看来这县城虽小,水土还是蛮养人的。不足的就是稍有点显胖。如今虽上了点年纪,可风韵犹存,就因为她的皮肤一点也不显老。当年嫁给我时,我比她大了许多,夫妻双方都年轻时不觉得,现在老了,特别是我又显苍老,岁月给我留下了一张饱经风霜的脸,外人就常说我是 老牛吃嫩草 ,我当然是笑笑了之。年轻时看上她,不仅仅是贪图其外貌,更重要的是发现了她的一种内在。她的善良,她的勤劳我一眼就看出来了,我一直都庆幸自己有一双 慧眼 。她的精明有主见,是在恋爱时接触中领教的,这儿就不好意思一一述说。 【二】 24岁遇上我时,我还是个穷教书的(当然现在也还是)。但那时是真正的穷,历史的、社会的、政治的种种原因,让我没有半文家底,一穷二白,尽管出生于豪门,但父亲英年早逝,家境便随时势的变化瞬间没落。母亲孤身一人带着三个孩子寄人篱下,过着乞丐般的日子。后来全家就上山下乡到一个县城去了。与妻子相识时,我还刚从插队落户的偏远穷山沟里回到城里来,一切从零开始。然而她却并没嫌弃我,和我结了婚,成了 家 ,一个简单得现在年轻人不屑一顾的 家 。 成家以后的日子你可想而知,自然也过得相当的艰难困苦,当时老婆还没有工作,但她有门手艺。好在八十年代后允许自谋职业,于是老婆就利用家中客厅里有限的那么一丁点儿空间,开始了她的自救谋生。她在认识我之前,曾在她的家乡 那个小县城里学会了编织。她从她的老乡那儿进来一些编织的材料,然后就在家里将它们编织成一张张精美的沙发,一把把漂亮的藤椅。你还别说,老婆的这门手艺还真的不错,她编织出来的沙发、藤椅拿到市场去卖,销售得还挺快的。 刚开始是我每天下班以后,利用晚上的时间同她一起将编织好的沙发、藤椅搬到离家不远的大街上去卖,后来又利用星期天的时间同她一起将成品搬到市区里人群密集的地方去卖。为了填饱肚子,为了生存,人在这种境遇之下是什么也顾不上的,自尊、颜面、斯文统统它妈的狗屁! 老婆编织的藤制品受到了许多市民的青睐,生意越做越好,一年以后,我们夫妻俩不再需要上街叫卖了,顾客会主动找上门来,老婆一双手还忙不过来,需要的顾客还得先预定购。不过还好,即便再忙,老婆也从未让我拜她为师学习编织,她心里明白,我这双手是要拿粉笔写字的。她也清楚,不能让我为此费了太多心思,因为我要对得起孩子,对得起家长。说到这,我得特别感谢妻子对我的理解、体贴与支持。 后来,家里的日子自然过得稍为宽松些了。但老婆是个很顾家很要强的人,一心只想把日子过得与别人一样舒坦。她不满足这样的状况,于是从她的老家招来了几个姐妹,购进了大量的材料,租了学校一块闲置的空地,开起了一个小作坊,自己上门到市各单位跑起业务来了,把生意做大了。这时候,我们的孩子也呱呱落地,降临于这个陌生的世界,来到了这个还处在贫困的家庭。孩子的出生虽为我们夫妻俩及这个家带来了无穷的快乐,但也给我夫妻俩增添了不小的压力。好在八十年代末期生活消费还没有现在这般奢侈,孩子也没有现在这般娇贵。光凭我那一点点儿工资是根本养活不了家人的。幸亏老母亲当时还跟着我,和我们住在一起。母亲微簿的工资收入多少还可以贴补一点儿,一家人相依为命的过着简朴的生活。 老婆就这样整天忙里忙外的。既要操持家务,照看孩子,又要对外跑业务,还要光顾几个编织女工,真是难为她了!老婆很用心地创她的事业,不久业务还真的越来越多,家里的收入自然也越来趣多。老婆就用这些靠自己血汗赚来的钱,为那个简单得不能再简单的家添置了一张新床,买了一台19英寸赣新彩色电视机,还添置了一些其它家中必要的傢俱,当然也没忘给孩子买点好吃的,买两件新衣服。 过了三年不用再为油盐柴米发愁的日子后,老母亲突然不高兴了(事实上老母亲对我妻子一直都不满意)。老母亲出生名门,一个望族家庭的大家闺秀,千金小姐,若不是时代的变幻莫测,她老人家也不会落到这步田地。她骨子里遗留下的那种知识分子的清高,那种大户人家的作派是很难改变的。老母亲不愿自己的儿媳整天在外面抛头露面,于是开始吵闹,故意找碴。稍有怠慢,便大发脾气,总是把我夫妻俩骂得大气都不敢出。其实,我心里也很不情愿让老婆常与那些所谓的官儿们打交道。改革开放以后,人民的生活水平提高了,但随之而来的乌七八糟的东西也相继而入,再说老婆还这么漂亮,整天得为她担心。既然老母亲不高兴,也好,不干就不干吧,息事宁人,开藤制品加工厂的创业美梦,发家致富的美梦从此成了泡影。 【三】 做手艺不成那就做点别的什么,总得把日子过下去吧。身为男人,在家庭遇到困难时自然要承担起责任。可90年代初我每月的工资就那么两三张百元币,扣去水、电、房租等费用,留给我的就一张多一点。这么一点点钱是根本维持不了一家人的生活的,更何况孩子还小,还需要适当地补充营养。而我一个文弱书生,除了教书还能干什么呢?叉不是当年在农村乡下,家里可以养鸡养鸭,还可养猪,实在没法还可上山砍柴卖,辛苦一点就是了。可如今回到城里了,生活环境改变了,即使你有浑身的力气也使不上劲。无奈,为了生存,为了家人我再次离别故乡,去了外省一所私立贵族学校任教(寄宿制,省去我这一段他乡漂泊史吧,因为我要说的是妻子。其实妻子也跟着我在他乡风风雨雨,颠沛流离了很多年)。90年代后,私立民办学如雨后春笋,全国各地都是,在那样的学校教书钱多呀!不少教师就像机关干部下海一样出外淘金去了,我就是其中的一个。一年以后,我把老婆,孩子一齐接到那所学校,老婆在学校做生活老师,孩子就在那所学校读书。一家三口,以校为家。遗憾的是老毌亲太重故乡情结,不愿再次离开家乡,我将她一人丢在这座城里,是我最大的不孝。老婆也常为这事埋怨、唠叨我,弄得我里外不是人,难怪自古以来就有这样的说法:忠孝难以两全。 你还别说,我老婆做什么事都是个挺认真的人,做生活老师也做得挺出色。我与老婆在学校开的是 夫妻店 。所谓 夫妻店 ,就是我除任教一个班的课之外,还任这个班的班立任,而老婆就任这个班的生活老师。从具体地分工上来说,我既要负责管理这个班的事务,还要负责孩子们的学习,而老婆专门负责学生的生活起居。那年月那些先富起来的人家的弟子是相当的不好教,行为习惯差得很。可老婆却是个挺有责任心的人,她总是把我的事当作她的事时时放在心上。她毎天除了把学生的宿舍打扫得干干净净,房间收拾得整整齐齐之外,一有空闲她就经常帮我做起了学生的思想教育工作,主动地参与我的班级管理。特别是在纠正学生的不良行为习惯上,花费了她不少的心思。老婆虽然没教过书,但在如何教育学生的问题上观点却始终与我保持一致。是啊,要不她怎么是我的那根 肋骨 呢! 那些有钱人家的弟子,过惯了饭来张口,衣来伸手的日子,家里大事小事都是保姆侍候,使唤保姆就像使唤小丫头,使唤奴才,哪里还懂什么礼节,人道尊严。记得最清楚的是刚与那些弟子们接触时,每到用餐时他们表现得最让人揪心。餐厅的阿姨们为他们盛好了饭菜,热气腾腾地摆在他们面前,可他们却挑三拣四的,横鼻子竖眼的。更可气的是从不知道起码的礼节,不懂得尊重别人:从不对侍候他们的阿姨问声好,说声谢,即使看到老师来了也不知谦让一下。每看到孩子们这样,妻子总是显得比我还着急。是啊,孩子们这样狂妄的性格,不是孩子们的错,是时代,是当时的那种社会风气造成的,孩子是无辜的,他们是国家的希望,民族的未来呀! 每次用餐前,老婆就让学生排好队,然后做一番耐心细致的讲解,告诉孩子们做人的道理,学会如何尊重别人。吃饭时,她总是一次次地放下自己的碗筷,去照看去教肓那一个个还没形成习惯的同学。当然我也非常地支持她,夫妻俩配合得特别默契。有时为了教育个别特淘气的孩子,夫妻俩还利用星期天去家访,与家长沟通。妻子的执着与坚持,严格与耐心,终于让学生有了变化,行为习惯有了明显的改观,孩子们还将这种变化带回了家。当学生回到家后与父毌一齐吃饭,做父亲的第一次接过儿子盛好的饭时,那位家长连饭都顾不上吃,拿起电话就打到学校来了,一定要学校领导替他感谢我夫妻俩。学生行为习惯地改变,让我的教学也提升了许多。后来学校领导多次在全校教师大会上表扬我们夫妻俩,说我们这样的 夫妻店 开得很们,值得推广。这一表彰果真让许多班主任开始效法,积极地动员其家属也到学校来做生活老师,学校里的 夫妻店 越开越多。这也算是在那个特殊的年代,特殊的学校的一种创新之举吧! 【四】 夫妻店 开了六年,最终还是关闭了。原因是我的老母亲身体越来越差,需要有人照顾,我只有关闭 夫妻店 ,携妻带儿回到家乡,我和我的 另一半 六年的漂泊生活也宣告结束。 日子还得要过,生活还得继续。二十世纪初,房地产产业火爆,二手房行业也方兴未艾。老婆是个很有经济头脑的人,这一点我永远不如她。老婆就开始利用手上仅有的一点积蓄开始做起了二手房生意。具体如何操作我一点也不知道,她也不愿让我知道。故敬请读者谅解,我就无法向你述说了。我只知道她还是费了很多心思,也挺劳累的,还要承担很大的风险。有一次,她看上了一套地段、结构都很好的房子,买下来再装修一下,卖出去是肯定赚钱的。可手头上没那么多钱,妻子都急得哭了。总央求我去找朋友借钱,看到妻子如此为这个家我也差点感动得哭了。无奈,只好硬着头皮找朋友凑了两万元。老婆真的很精明,也很讲信任,一套房子一进一出只半个月时间,不仅赚了钱,还还清了债务。 做二手房生意,看起来轻松其实也蛮辛苦的。特别是买到旧房以后要重新装修就更累了。每次装修老婆就忙得不可开交,购买装修用的各种材料,找电工、木工、水泥工,还有装修完后的清洁工等等,我一点也帮不上忙,全由老婆一人承包。实在忙不过来时,就打个电话给我说: 老公,早点回家去做饭哦,我有事忙赶不回来。 读者请再次见谅,说到这儿老婆不让我往下说了,再说就有可能泄漏她的商业机密了。反正后来的日子,老婆这么努力地打拼,又这么勤俭地持家,金银手饰舍不得买一个,名牌衣服也舍不得买一件,这日子能不好了起来吗!当然生活中夫妻俩也免不了磕磕碰碰,用刀郎歌曲中的一句歌词来表述,那就是 就算生活给我无尽地痛苦折磨,我还是觉得幸福更多。 现在作为母親的她,又替儿子买好车买好房,就等抱孙子了。你说对于我的这样一根 肋骨 ,我的这样的 另一半 ,我最应该说的就是两个字:谢谢!这是上帝用我的那根肋骨为我造的一个最佳配偶,这是上帝赐于我的最大恩惠! 作诗一首,聊表情怀吧! 我的爱人是棵草 别人的老婆是玫瑰 我的爱人是棵草 生长在穷乡僻壤 我却幸运地拣了个宝 做草也没有什么不好 虽然寂寞,无人知晓 但却绿了荒山,沃了田野 旺盛的生命力 让巨石也只有沾花不敢惹草 没有这棵草 哪有我现在这般闲情逸志 家里啥事也不用我操劳 没有这棵草 哪有我现在这般潇洒自由 骑着自行车满世界跑 没有这棵草 哪有我现在温暖舒适的家 衣食无忧,一睡就睡个饱 时间在飞快地流逝 生命在一路小跑 这棵草将年过半百 我也越来越苍老 但我和爱人却相约 每人都要活到百岁 一齐白头偕老 2013-5-21

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Red Dust

Near the middle of the night, there was a drizzling rain outside, when the phone suddenly rang, it was a strange call, and in curiosity, it finally answered.

At the end of the phone, the voice was frightened and excited, and the familiarity in the heart came from sang. This didn’t make me confused, because I just met my colleagues in the group in the days when I came back. It must be that he told sang that I came back.

Sang insisted on seeing me. At that time, I was moving my fingertips on the computer keyboard, weaving various excuses to refuse, but under his obedient strain and endless pleading, I was still defeated and had to stand in front of him with a compromise face.

I haven’t seen him for many days. He seemed a little afraid to look at me directly, and even felt a little uncomfortable. However, the repressed excitement and joy still appeared faintly on his face.

In the air, it was drizzling all the time, and I walked with my head down. For a while, the atmosphere was quiet as if I could hear my heartbeat. It was a long time before I heard his low voice behind me: Yu Xi! I want to take you somewhere

I turned my head to look at him, but I accidentally found that this man, who was three years younger than me, was obviously crisp and emaciated. The original tall and straight figure was in the light of the night, it seems even thinner and colder. I think something must have happened these days!.

Yes! Later, I learned from his mouth that he had ended a marriage that was just beginning. At that time, my heart was hit by an invisible thing in front of him for the first time. I don’t know whether it was due to his innocence or innocence or other hidden feelings. I only know that I have never contacted him since I refused him to come to Xiamen last time.

In order to argue and entangle needlessly, I didn’t refuse his request, but took a taxi with him silently.

He led me into a bright and gorgeous suite. I didn’t ask any questions about this sudden scene. I just sat on the sofa staring at the video screen in a daze, but I could feel that sang nearby was staring at me silently, I can feel how cold my expression is now.

Yuxi! Stay by my side, I want to give you happiness. Look! Now I can give you happiness. I thought I could forget you, but somehow, once I suddenly remembered you crying in front of the stage. At that moment, I was so afraid that I would never see you again. I didn’t expect you to come back, I don’t want to lose you again. His words finally broke the silence, but my heart had no waves of silence.

What do you expect me to give you? Heart is impossible, it is impossible for a lifetime, and my answer is extremely cracked. At the moment when he stretched out his hand and grabbed my shoulders, I felt a kind of intense tearing pain instantly. I stared at his red tears coldly without any resistance.

His hands trembled slightly: how could you do this? I have paid so much for you, as you know, you can’t go too far. Obviously, he is out of control. The Expression of grudging and resentful makes me feel fear that I have never had before.

I don’t know what he has done! But my heart has never had any joy of winning. As long as I think of that woman and lift up the high-end camera to make me fall violently on the stage, I can’t forgive it all the time.

Although I still don’t understand the purpose of her shooting me, the I am of hatred that she struggled to climb from the stage at that time.

Thinking of the slap that had been accosted severely and the negotiations that had been singled out with me were all pathetic behaviors attracted by the woman he threw away in front of me like throwing rubbish, in a short period of time, my heart and spirit were tortured and tortured cruelly. Originally, I am should hate him, but I didn’t even want to give him the heart to hate him.

It was still raining outside, and the calm sang insisted on sending me, because he had to back his coat and put it on my head because he didn’t find the umbrella, but it was really difficult to take a taxi on rainy days, when I got on the bus and handed my coat to him, I found that a large area of his body was wet.

He simply left a few words and turned away, but I couldn’t help feeling painful when I saw his isolated back. It was a kind of pain different from before, it is also an indescribable pain. I think if the car stops for a while, will I not be able to stop him?

The last time we saw sang was three days later. We walked aimlessly with the light shadow under the moonlight. The ethereal night was so quiet, however, the subtle feeling that has never been seen is better than thousands of words at this moment.

Sang approached me a little, then stretched out his hand but took it back. I knew that he wanted to touch my shoulder with his raised hand, but he only heard him sigh and smile and said, “I really want to hug you in my heart, but somehow I felt panic and scared. I didn’t know what to say for a while, just heard him ask again: are you really going to live forever alone? Yeah! I followed his words.

If so! I will always wait for you, even if I just wait like this forever.

After the separation that night, there was no news of him. I think this is the best ending! This has always been the case, I am clear.

Once there was a man who said: Yu Xi! I will never forget it in my whole life. I will come back to you again, but there will be no news from now on. Once there was a man who said: Yu Xi! If you still haven’t married many years later, let me be the one who gets you! But then he didn’t leave any trace and went to heaven forever. Then I realized what was the eternal parting and what was the real loss. There was once a person who gave up my feelings for four years. In the end, I hated it

Everything has gone out with the time fly ash smoke, but I am still alone, still in the same place, but it seems far away.

Sometimes I wonder whether a simple, mediocre, Little Me is carrying a mission that is unknown, or is it fulfilling a crime that cannot be escaped? Why are you entangled with emotions all your life.

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