Dear! I am waiting for you to go home.

Dear! These three words are a little strange in my mouth, but in my heart, we can all say them affectionately I am so eager, as if it was a matter of the last century, those warm atmosphere is gone, and your smiling face is fixed in my heart, not as cold as you are now. It rained outside the window. I have smoked three cigarettes on the balcony. Maybe it is helpless. In fact, it is really helpless. Smoke has become my best partner. I know you are always disgusted, when you are here, I always restrain myself from smoking. I condensed the words and concentrated them again, repressed my feelings and then suppressed them. I still couldn’t help falling tears. They all said that the man had tears and didn’t flick lightly. I was already standing on the edge of despair, dear, what exactly do you want? I struggled and worked hard to extend our love far away, but you didn’t have a smile, but you used quarrels to kill time, but you use sinking to defeat my desire to heal. It was late at night, but I didn’t know whether to pick you up or not. Maybe I couldn’t pick you up at all. Both children fell asleep and looked at their drooling faces. I knew I couldn’t bear it, I can’t bear this family. When we were young, youth seduced our arrogance like this. You nestled in my arms like a flower, looking forward to the future life. I have no house and no ability, there is no superior material life, but I swore secretly at that time that I would definitely give you the happiest life. We are so young, we fell into the garden of love, unexpectedly, you are pregnant, looking at your panic eyes, I made a decision, please marry me, no house, no wedding dress, you don’t have any complaints. We just hold hands like this. You have become my most beautiful bride. I am love you so much. I married me when I had nothing. My half-son took me to court for that house, I stood in the dock without knowing anything about the law. My heart was cold, while you were by my side, warming my sun. I made concessions, I took you and the child wandering, and you followed me so firmly. I thank you so much, because you have given me a lot of warmth and happiness. We snuggled together in the wind and rain of the world. I had no father for a long time, no support and no background. I had to rely on myself. I pursued my dream, but gave up my dream for life. My playful nature gradually disappeared. At the age of 20, I was mature like a wall. How much I wanted you and my children to lean against me, so I wanted to stand stronger. I work hard everywhere, just want you to live a stable life. Whenever I go home and give you that meager salary, I always sigh in my heart, but at the same time I am so satisfied, because you and the child are waiting for me. Today’s society is a society of the law of the jungle. Everyone values interests. It is not easy for a man to work hard in the society. He will be angry and looked down upon by others, dear, I have been holding on hard. I believe my thin shoulders can hold up the sky for you. No matter how hard I am, I bite my teeth. I am not willing to spend a penny randomly. I always think of your smiling face and children. Although the peaceful life is bitter, I feel very happy from my heart. I don’t smoke or drink. I always buy your favorite clothes and toys for you by saving money. Our second baby is here. This is the second gift from love. I know the burden on my shoulder is heavier, but watching you busy in the kitchen, watching the children crawling around my legs, I have no complaints. I just want to keep you and never separate for a lifetime. Finally, we have our own house. Although the house is small, it belongs to us. We no longer have to stand under other people’s eaves to watch the rain. Dear, I realized my first promise with actions, I gave you a home that really belongs to us. But your smile is less. I am so stupid that I didn’t care. I naively thought that you should be satisfied. A woman kept her caveolae and watched the children grow up day by day, how happy it is. I really thought you were a happy little woman. Under my umbrella, you opened the most beautiful flower. In order to live a better life, I choose to go out to work and go back to the dormitory after work. I always like to open my mobile phone to see you and the children on the screen protector. I always say: this is my wife, this is my child, dear, I will make you happier. But gradually, your phone number is less, your information is less, and finally there is no more. I was eager to wear it and looked at my mobile phone eagerly, looking forward to the news of you and your child in my heart. Sometimes I think that it is not easy for you to take two children alone, and it is enough for you to be busy. As long as you are safe, it is my greatest wish. But how I wish you could make a phone call or send a message to greet me and let me know that you have been caring about me. Every time you call home, you are always impatient, I can’t say a few words, you start to quarrel with me sharply, saying that I only know to earn money, not to care about my family, and that I am at leisure outside. But dear, you really don’t understand my sadness outside. I want to hear the voice of the child. How much I miss you, but you don’t know how happy my heart is when I hear the child shouting for my father! However, how helpless I am. I have to separate myself from you for the sake of life. No man likes to wander outside, but only men are the support of the family, only when we work hard can we support our family, can our beloved live a life of plenty of food and clothing, and can our children eat less and wear less like other children. When I returned to the local area and had a career of my own, I thought I could fall to the dust and compensate me for my debt to you and my children. I did everything at home, whatever you say, I promise, I will buy whatever you want, dear, I am always around you and your children, and I don’t want to be separated from you any more. However, I feel invisibly that you are getting farther and farther away from me, your smile is gone, you are complaining, you ignore my existence and call, and you leave the child to me day after day. When my career started, you couldn’t help me in the same boat. I understand, because I am man, when I sent everything to you, you became so indifferent. For so many years, I have always loved you, but I feel in my heart that you are already so strange. You don’t make breakfast for me any more. My dirty laundry is scattered by the bed and sent the children to school. Every time you find your mood is in a mess, dear, you have changed, you no longer care about what clothes I wear every day, what kind of food I eat, whether I am happy every day and whether I am tired from work. You only know how to ask for money and quarrel has become a common occurrence, the child’s eyes were already afraid of this battlefield full of war. The family I once tried my best to build had no happiness I wanted. The child is not wrong. After all, they are two children. Think about my life experience and the scene where my stepchild took me to court. I won’t fight cold, I can’t let my children go my way too. I don’t want them to lose either of their parents. They need their own biological parents. I am tired, but I don’t want to let go. Looking at the child, I shed tears again and again and drunk again and again. I am trying hard to persuade you that you are still the best. You said you had enough to stay at home and wanted to find a job to evacuate your mood. As long as you are happy, as long as you change your bad temper, I agreed. Unexpectedly, I regretted my decision. The outside world is too chaotic and there are many temptations. Dear, although you have a bad temper, you are simple. I am still afraid that you will be cheated or bullied, but you broke my heart with facts. You started to become irregular when you went to work. You either returned late or did not return all night. I am not a weak man. I want to exchange my life for your heart, but when I see two children, I am enduring, crying and bleeding. You have changed and become so strange, no longer a girl in my arms, no longer a girl in a pink dress. The thick makeup on your face hides your whole person. I almost can’t recognize you. You gave up your home, give up the child and the lover who worked hard for you. Children always ask me: Dad, Where Is Mom? Why don’t you play with us? Why don’t you go home for dinner? Don’t you want us? Did we do something wrong? Looking at the child’s pitiful face, my heart was broken. What else could I say? I hugged the child tightly, and I burst into tears. Dear, even if there is no love, I just said that even though, I still want to go with you, because the child is innocent, dear, have you ever thought about turning back? If you are cheated one day, what kind of attitude should you appear in front of me and my children, and what kind of attitude should I accept you. There are too many words to tell you. We have passed through several years of ups and downs together. I know I have made many mistakes, or I have neglected you because of my work, let you spend a lot of lonely days alone and fail to give you a luxurious life. What I have done is not good enough, but I have been working hard, I have always wanted to make you and your children happier. I have also tried my best to get rid of my bad temper. Dear, I am always silent because there are too many reluctant to give up. I don’t want to smoke any more. I can’t remember the number of cigarettes. Smoking can only relieve the temporary depression, but my heart can’t calm down. Tonight, I really want to pick you up from work and give you an umbrella, but I still haven’t moved. I’m afraid the scene before me when I see you will make me more heartbroken, I don’t want to expose any of your lies of coming back late or not. When I came to the child’s room, I just watched the child distracted and shed tears silently. Maybe I knew in my heart that I couldn’t pick up you at all, or you didn’t go to work at all. The perfume smell that frequently appeared on you is a brand that I can’t afford. Speaking of which, I think I am really useless; The alcohol on you always makes me vomit, I have prepared the food and it is already very cold. The children have eaten it. I am afraid that you dislike the leftovers and have already prepared a new one waiting for you. In fact, I know that it is the same as not done, you are not used to the food at home, just as you are tired of me. Dear, I am just a man with flesh and blood, love and hate. If there is no child, I believe I will make the choice of divorce without hesitation. Now facing you, I don’t know if my way will repeat itself on my child. I dare not think that I am so scared. My poor child is innocent and my heart hurts so much! Dear, what is your heart made of, how can you let the three hearts in your family break for you? At night, it was still so quiet, the rain was still so big, the lonely figure in front of the window, who knew that his heart had been broken and broken, and love and hate were so entangled, my dearest person! What should I do! Don’t you miss our past at all and the begging eyes of two children at all! I don’t want to be angry or entangled. I just want to have a good talk with you, talk about our past and our future. I know I can’t wait for you tonight. I wrote this letter with tears, because you have given me no time to talk. You are always at home and you are always impatient, you always quarrel with each other, dear, I hope you can calm down and finish it. No matter what kind of love, it will be gradually dull, relying on the management of two people, no matter how wonderful the outside world is, people still need to come back to reality. Life is like this. I don’t want much, as long as your heart and our warm home. If you are still determined to leave after reading this letter, if someone is worth giving up on us and can give you a happier home, then I will not stop you, fate is so bizarre, you can have a better life, my child and I will not retain. If you still love this family, you still feel that my shoulder is your support, and you still feel that the child is your pride, just look back, my child and I are still waiting for you, accompany you to the end of your life. ——– People who always love you

Zan (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) Phoenix Mountain Spring Tour

After dressing up at Meiko and changing into an organic glass button suit, the hour hand of the wall clock at home has pointed to nine o’clock. I cross it with noon…

Enter June

In the singing of summer cicada, in the intoxicating evening breeze of summer, we walked into June together again. Entering this memory, we…

Linjia Lane

Once in Linjia Lane, I passed by Yibin, because I needed to stay in Yibin for nearly 5 hours to transfer to a plane, because I was not familiar with this city…

Linjia Lane

Once in Linjia Lane, I passed by Yibin, because I needed to stay in Yibin for nearly 5 hours to transfer to a plane, because I was not familiar with this city…

The confusion of summer night

I couldn’t stand the heat and came to Weishui River for a walk to enjoy the cool. In the beautiful South Bank Parklands of Xianyang Lake and the natural river, it is cool…

Love story

Lover dies, lover…

You are on the other end of the phone.

I can’t see your expression on the phone, happy, silent, serious, sad, I can’t touch it, because you are on the other side of the phone. The telephone facilitated us and pulled us away. It was really like a double-edged sword. We can’t help but enjoy it. I can gently call you and tell you that it will rain tomorrow, remember to bring an umbrella! The voice is full of sweet admiration, or softly said, I know you are busy, but you must pay attention to your body and take good care of yourself, but you don’t know that I can’t breathe in pain on the other end of the phone, you don’t know that after the rain of the first meeting, you are always in my heart. You don’t know what happened to me, you don’t know what I don’t want you to know, I don’t say you don’t ask, so you are always on the other side of the phone. I often look at the sky in a daze, in the misty morning, in the quiet afternoon, in the night of the night, or in the night when you are asleep, I think there must be a place where we have never arrived, and there must be all the expectations and yearns of our fantasy. It happens that if the radio station is playing a love song at this time, I miss whether it will be everywhere, but unfortunately you are still on the other side of the phone, and this phone may not be a lifeline at any time, especially this late night. It turns out that I am not your closest person, but the one you can miss at any time. I am so sad. What I am most afraid of is hearing such a sad story, just like a person sailing in the boundless ocean. There is no direction, no support, no way to dock, no way to let go! The phone rang. Obviously it was a few weeks later in the afternoon. It was sunny. I put my hand out of the window and felt the wind passing through my fingertips. It was soft and warm, as if the castle in my heart suddenly had the sunshine coming in, you talked, through the phone, through thousands of kilometers, your voice came, with a thin mist, still reach my heart, passing by the city you used to live in, suddenly I want to call you, want to know the food you used to like to eat, a house of call, the school you attended, what kind of mood makes you suddenly go to a strange place, a city where I have lived for many years, whether there is your yearning or all your worries. My giggle, you must not know how sweet and bitter my smile is. You are not only on the other side of the phone, but also on the other side of my heart, a few kilometers, Hundreds of kilometers, or thousands of kilometers, I can’t get there. Maybe if I didn’t meet you, I wouldn’t be so familiar with the city I live in now. I wouldn’t have thought of leaving when life was hard and there was nowhere to escape, because you are here, in the place where I live now, even if you only exist at the other end of the phone, even if I can only devour all my thoughts by myself. As a former host, I think there are some places suitable for two people to go. You and your beloved one, thank you. There is such a kind girl who finds you before me, I am lucky to accompany you through the future that I have no time to participate in. I will always send blessings to you at the other end of the phone for your happiness. The sunshine is still so dazzling and the sky is too blue and melancholy. We look up at homosky. I am in the city where you live, you are in the place where I live, and we are all on the other side of the phone!

Zan (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) Phoenix Mountain Spring Tour

After dressing up at Meiko and changing into an organic glass button suit, the hour hand of the wall clock at home has pointed to nine o’clock. I cross it with noon…

Enter June

In the singing of summer cicada, in the intoxicating evening breeze of summer, we walked into June together again. Entering this memory, we…

Linjia Lane

Once in Linjia Lane, I passed by Yibin, because I needed to stay in Yibin for nearly 5 hours to transfer to a plane, because I was not familiar with this city…

Linjia Lane

Once in Linjia Lane, I passed by Yibin, because I needed to stay in Yibin for nearly 5 hours to transfer to a plane, because I was not familiar with this city…

The confusion of summer night

I couldn’t stand the heat and came to Weishui River for a walk to enjoy the cool. In the beautiful South Bank Parklands of Xianyang Lake and the natural river, it is cool…

Love story

Lover dies, lover…